This morning I came across a news story that made me cringe. It didn’t take long to realize that it was one of the main stories for the day. I’m talking about the comments Hilary Rosen made towards Ann Romney and the reaction it’s caused with both working and stay at home mothers. In case you do not read or watch the news, Rosen, referring to Mitt Romney said “Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.” She continued by saying Ann Romney had “never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future.”
My first thought was “Did she really just say that??!!”, and then my second reaction was “Wow, that was pretty offensive!”. Then I had some coffee and thought really hard about it and here’s what I decided. She probably wasn’t attacking stay at home moms but rather “rich” stay at home moms. She most certainly couldn’t have been referring to me, because I’m actually a Work From Home Mom who is also Homeschooling – pheeeew! She most certainly isn’t talking about the Stay At Home Mom who works part time on the weekends because they actually have worked a day in their life, just not a week day. Did she only mean the mothers who work that make little money? Or do the mothers who are financially well off qualify as well? Oh and by the way…do rich mothers not worry about their children’s futures?
Why are we as women so quick to disqualify each others opinions, choices and experiences? We may be on different paths in our lives but aren’t we all working towards a common goal? To give our children the best life possible and help them navigate through this complicated world? It seems to be that once we find out we’re pregnant the war begins. It’s c-section vs. natural birth, bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding, cosleeping vs. ferberizing and on and on it goes. Imagine a world where we all just support each other regardless of our personal, parenting choices. We stand beside each other, giving one another support. Let’s not assume the Stay At Home Mom, sits around eating bon bons watching soaps all day completely oblivious to the economic climate out in the “real” world. In turn, let’s not judge the working mother as someone who is never there for her children because she only puts her career first. Instead lets raise our daughters to embrace each other and encourage each other through our own example. I’d like to think we have evolved enough as women to be able to choose to stay at home if we can without making it sound like we’re settling or giving up our hard earned feminist power.
I know women of all walks of life can get along just fine. My dearest friend and I are complete opposites. She is my South and I am her North – seriously though, she lives down south and I live more north! She is my Ying and I am her Yang! We could not have more different opinions on things if we tried, yet she is one of my favourite people in the whole world. So in honor of my “Why can’t we all just get along?” post I’ve decided to interview her. Names have been changed in order to protect the innocent!
Hello Wonder Woman, thank you for taking the time to answer a few questions….
HonestlyMummy: What are your goals as a mother for your raising your children?
Wonder Woman: My goals are currently under revision. Of course, when they are born, the goal is always that they “are happy”. Generic…but a goal. As they get older and start to show a very strong personality, the goals narrow a little. The “be happy” goal never goes away but you want them to be happy while they are being the best version of themselves that they can possibly be.
HonestlyMummy: What would your reaction be if your daughter decided to be a Stay At Home Mom when she grew up?
Wonder Woman: I would support her 5000% if it was what she wanted to do.
HonestlyMummy: What do you think a Stay At Home Mom does all day?
Wonder Woman: HA, what doesn’t a stay at home mom do??? A stay at home mom does the job that most of us “professionals” do ALL DAY EVERYDAY and still manages to be a MOM 100% of the time! They do it without a lot of adult interaction throughout the day to keep them sane!!
HonestlyMummy: How do you feel about what Hilary Rosen had to say regarding Ann Romney’s life choice?
Wonder Woman: To an extent, I think it’s actually a political ploy to get attention by both sides. I tend to ignore most of that nonsense because it’s not an actual issue. It’s unfortunate and it make me sad to think there is such a strong judgement for women in both situations.
HonestlyMummy: Do you think a Stay At Home Mom understands the economic situation today as much as a Mom who has a full time career?
Wonder Woman: I think it’s 50/50. I would say the same for working moms. I’m a professional working woman who absolutely hides her head in the sand. I hate to admit it but I guarantee you 50% of the stay at home moms out there have MUCH more of a grasp on current economic situations. It has nothing to do with where I spend my days.
HonestlyMummy: Please give a short description of an average day for you.
Wonder Woman: Today: Wake up at 4 am, get kids and husband ready for school (lunches, clothes, soccer gear for practice after school, clean the kitchen, fold 2 loads of laundry, wake the kids up, wake them up again….and again, cook the chicken for your husbands lunch as it was too loud to do the night before because he was podcasting his psychology lectures for the next day….
friends drop off their 6 year old because I take her to school because they have to be to work by 6:30 am and before school child care doesn’t open until 7 am. Feed her breakfast, get the kids finally ready with teethbrushing and hair fixing
Leave the house at 7 am
Get to work at 8 am
Work a dizzy day with more responsibility than I have time to include
Husband (amazing, hard working husband) picks up kids from school
I try to get off by 6 most days so I can RUSH to soccer practice or soccer games, depending on the night get home at 8 pm, kids shower while I make dinner, feed them dinner, they fall asleep immediately…then it’s time for me to fold another 2 loads of laundry, clean up after dinner, attempt to spend 10 minutes talking to my husband and make sure homework is organized to turn in the next day
HonestlyMummy: How do you fit all your work responsibilities and mom responsibilities into one day?
Wonder Woman: HA! I don’t!!! and then I email my closest friend (she’s a very honest mummy) and let her know I feel like a failure and she loves me anyway
HonestlyMummy: If you had one thing to say to all the other mothers out there what would it be?
Wonder Woman: If you’re trying your hardest and keeping your kids at the front of your decisions….you’re doing the right thing.