The Meltdown…

Today I had a melt down!

I don’t have them very often these days but today proved to be too much for my patience to handle.

School was down right painful, even though the Little Professor only has two subjects left in Grade 2 – he actually finished one of them today, Yay!  The other, Animal Science, is a subject he just does not like, which is odd because he loves learning about animals.  I guess the way he’s learning it in the PACES has been very boring to him.  Part of me wanted to let him give it up, but I think it’s a good learning experience for him.  Not everything in life is super fun or interesting, but that’s not a reason to quit.  So, we are struggling through it!  I say “we” because it’s a struggle for me to have to say “get it done” a couple hundred times a day!  This has been going on for the past week and a half – it’s getting old!

Thankfully, there’s only one Animal Science PACE left!

Hopefully, by the weekend we’ll be finished Grade 2 altogether!

The Milk Monkey ‘s cutting two more top teeth making him tired and a little cranky.  I put him down for a nap twice today and twice he was woken up 5 minutes after he fell asleep.  He had his brother and sister to thank for that.  I just can’t seem to get the Professor and the Princess to keep the noise down during nap time.  Of course this made my already cranky Monkey even more ornery, a huge contrast to his normal cheerful disposition.  Later…I caught the Little Professor whipping balls at my grumpy little baby – they were very thin plastic, so not as damaging as it sounds.  I was horrified, he’s usually so gentle and kind.  It turns out he wasn’t trying to hurt his tiny, little brother but rather he was hoping if he did it enough it would teach the Monkey to do it back at him.  Then the two could have a good boyish game of whipping balls at each other!

To add to the stress…I spent all my free time yesterday cleaning the kitchen and getting it organized only to find it trashed this morning.  This really frustrates me because I don’t have a lot of time during my day between work, homeschooling and taking care of three kids.  Keeping the house tidy always ends up at the bottom of the list by default.  It’s very discouraging when I finally get to it and it doesn’t even last a full day!  I have a hard enough time teaching myself to keep things tidy, I find it almost impossible to help the kids learn the skill.  All my efforts seem to fall on deaf ears.

Even with all those things going on, I was still able to be my normal patient self.  Then I went upstairs to talk to the kids and saw their room.  It looked like a disaster zone!  There were toys everywhere, clean clothes ripped off their hangers and tossed every which way and dirty clothes scattered across the rug.  Then I spied the new items we bought at The American Girl doll store dumped out of their boxes and thrown about!! The tiny new doll glasses lost, no where to be found!  That was just too much!  It pushed me over the edge – I still feel guilty about spending so much money!! –  and to see it carelessly flung around proved to be my breaking point.

I completely lost my patience!  When I get upset with my children I don’t yell as much as my voice drops about 3 octaves.  They realize immediately that Mummy is about to have a melt down.  I’m not proud of myself, in fact I always feel so bad after, but I am a person like everyone else.  I have my flaws and I definitely have my limits.

It didn’t last long – you should see how fast my children can tidy up when they hear my deep voice!  Maybe I should always talk to them with a voice like an ogre!  We’d probably get more things accomplished.  I wonder if it would work on Daddy too??!!

Everything settled down again.  Daddy called Nana and asked if she’d be able to take our two older children for the day.  She of course agreed! She’s amazing like that!  Thank goodness for Nana J!  She’s so nonjudgmental and always there for support.  I couldn’t ask for a better mother in law!

Now as I write this, while munching on a piece of Hershey Special Dark chocolate, I’m ready to face tomorrow!  After all tomorrow is another day….

The Milk Monkey’s a Player….

I was working away at my desk when I looked up to see the Milk Monkey happily playing away.

He was making little sound effects and chatting away with the few words he knows “Dada, Mama, Nana, Hi” while driving little cars across the carpet.

He was tossing balls and rolling them around.

                            

Even after three children, I’m still in awe of how babies go from being completely and utterly dependent on us,

to playing, eating, walking, talking and all the other amazing things they can do.

Some how, almost effortlessly they learn so much in their first couple years!

With my first born, my Little Professor, I spent hours teaching him his colours and shapes, how to count and his alphabet at an early age.

I thought it important that he learned everything fast and with a little work, he did.  He was a fast learner and still is!

I stressed over it.

I was so caught up in his future, that I pushed him and we didn’t relax and enjoy the present.  Everything had to be perfect with him.  I changed his clothes at the tiniest mark, I constantly washed his tiny face and I agonized over every decision.

When my Princess was born I was determined to do the same for her!  Having two babies made that an impossible task.  It was barely all I could do to remember to breath during that time and trying to keep things perfect made me feel like a complete failure.

The Princess and I didn’t spend huge amounts of time obsessively going over her colours, shapes and alphabet

but surprisingly enough she learned it just as well as our Professor.

At some point it dawned on me…babies learn…children learn, it’s just in their nature.

They learn by playing, they learn by spending time with the ones who love them, they learn by mimicking.

Everything with my little Milk Monkey has been different.  I’m a more relaxed mummy.  I am able to enjoy all his moments!

Maybe it’s because I’m older – I definitely have the grey hairs and the wrinkles to back that up!  or maybe it’s just the experience from my other two darlings but now I’ve stopped reaching for perfection.

Now, instead of running for a new outfit because a puff has stuck to the Milk Monkey’s sleepers I just let him continue playing and sometimes I even join him regardless of the work that needs to be done.

I like to smell his sweet baby scent, his little curls softly caress my cheek as I kiss the back of his neck.

The Milk Monkey has learned so much already!

He’s learned it from his Daddy and I and from his brother and sister…the funny thing is,

we’ve never sat down to “teach” him anything!